Living by Doing

I'm a single founder working on improving my business and myself.

15. October 2014 21:59
by Anders Thue Pedersen

Working while on vacation feels wrong

15. October 2014 21:59 by Anders Thue Pedersen | 0 Comments

I am currently on vacation. Five days together with my wife and daughter having friends over for dinner and arranging play dates for the daughter.

One thing that always happens when I am on vacation, when it is weekend or Christmas is that I get inspired to do new things for my TSR business.

The act of relaxing, not having to juggle a gazillion queries, customers or employees leaves enough brain cycles to spare that my idea part fires up and start generating ideas to implement.

I guess it's part of what is necessary to be an entrepreneur, to always be inspired and get ideas by reading, talking, walking and even sleeping.

The problem is that not long after I start getting these ideas I become unhappy and sad, not that it is not okay to have those feelings (it is okay!) but it has been annoying and frustrating for me for a long period that I could not just relax and enjoy my family and the company of friends.

Today I figured out why I get those feelings, it is because:

I am ashamed that I would rather work than being together with my family.

I am ashamed about not being present enough.

I am ashamed because I have high expectations for myself and my role as a husband and as a father.

My expectations demands me to be present and ready to play with my daughter all the time while also being ready to talk to my wife and of course cook dinner clean, be the perfect host etc. etc.

Did I ever mention that I am an overachiever?

Did I ever mention I run a consultancy business with 5 employees?

But I like to work on my TSR projects, they give me energy and happiness - they give me the energy to keep on, they give me a place to try out crazy stuff and to be me 100%

the next problem is that whenever I open my computer, I am assaulted with 'important' messages and problems that needs to be put fixed. So to use an hour or two on my TSR projects, and myself, implementing a new idea or trying out a new feature feels wrong.

Very wrong.

However, I have to work on taking this time for myself, because taking this time off for myself while on vacation (and at work) is what keeps me happy and free from stress and depression.

Getting ideas and testing them out is what motivates me internally, as much as much as being a good husband and father does.

Doing work that is internally motivated makes me happy, relaxed and much better at being present when my wife & daughter wants to show me their latest drawing/invention/idea/etc....

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